Read it Again Mommy!

I love to read with my children. I love the way their bodies fit perfectly against mine as we cuddle together a the end of a long day to read a story before bed. When one of my children is sick a good book often chases away the feelings of confinement as one's imagination soars. Settling in together to share a story allows previous tensions to evaporate with each turn of page. Reading together with your children can ease your mind and recharge the spirit as hearts and minds are focused only each other. Stories can be fun or can teach a lesson, and if you are lucky a good book does both with subtlety, wit, and illustration.

Unfortunately, sometimes it takes all my energy to read the same story over and over again, Some stories just weren't that good the first time and I have found myself cringing when my child says "read this one mommy." Thankfully though there are those that have earned their worn out bindings, chewed corners, and tattered (and taped back together) pages. below is a list of a few of my children's (ages 6 and 3) favorite stories that any parent will enjoy reading again and again and again....
(these are not in any particular order)

Don't Let The Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willems www.mowillems.com
This deceivingly simple plot with even more deceivingly simple drawings has become a family favorite. This is the story of a pigeon, who you guessed it, wants to drive a bus. As the bus driver steps away he asks the reader to watch his bus with the caveat to "Please don't let the pigeon drive the bus"
Both my children laugh out loud starting with "vroomy vroom vroom" to the offer of five bucks or to be your best friend. This pigeon will try anything. He may not be able to fulfill his dream of driving the bus but don't be sad, he discovers bigger and better dreams. www.pigeonpresents.com

Chugga Chugga Choo Choo by Kevin Lewis illustrated by Daniel Kirk www.danielkirk.com
I often give this book as a gift for a new baby as it also come as a board book. My daughter's hardcover is worn from reading it and my son's board version has been chewed. He loved it so much he ate it. (we have since replaced it). The train takes various journeys in rhyme over the bridge, through the tunnel to the city to unload the freight. Final destination, the roundhouse for some deserved rest. A perfect bedtime story.

Fancy Nancy (any one of them) by Jane O'Connor illustrated by Robin Preiss Glasser www.harpercollinschildrens.com/kids/gamesandcontests/features/fancynancybooks/
This series of books is sublime, that's a fancy way of saying great. A must read for the child who loves princess stories and dressing-up, as well as for the parent who would prefer not to continue promoting the damsel in distress story. Fancy Nancy is an extravaganza in organza as children learn new words and ways to wear accessories. Each story ends with Nancy learning a little more than just a new vocabulary word.

I Like Myself by Karen Beaumont www.karenbeaumont.com illustrated by David Catrow
www.catrow.com
This book (like another of hers I Ain't Gonna Paint No More) is just fun! Through whimsical rhyme about liking yourself regardless of a pig nose or polka dotted toes, Karen Beaumont with the talents of David Catrow's illustrations bring to life the important message of this book. The silliness appeals to children and adults alike as it is as much fun to read as it is to imagine oneself with hair like a porcupine. Beaumont/ Catrow combination (they team in other books as well) highlight the inherent good time you and your children will have reading this book with a message that doesn't hit you over the head but makes you appreciate the exuberance of a child's imagination and open heart.

Mousepaint by Ellen Stoll Walsh: My son loves this book and its not about trucks! This simple "tail" is about three white mice who find some colored paint and jump right in.They discover by dancing in the colors they can make new colors! In the end they wash off the paint to a nice soft white "because of the cat." My son loves to point to the colors as we say them. What I thought was just a clever way to learn colors turns out to also be a unexpectedly playful book. ( I love the larger board book version.)

Alphabetter by Dan Bar-el and Graham Ross: www.danbar-el.com/book-alphabetter.html
Alphabet book are probably one of the most commonly written books as well as the most purchased by parents. How many different ways can you say the alphabet? Well, in Alphabetter (and my next favorite kids book), they have come up with a unique and creative way for kids to learn their letters. Their is a child for each letter who has something that the next child needs and on and on throughout the alphabet until the end when they finally get it all figured out and go for a swim. Besides the the unique introduction of letters this book also has a twist on multiculturalism using names like Joo-Pyo and Khalil. I appreciate the subtlety of bringing in a variety of cultures without hitting the reader over the head with it.

What Pete Ate From A-Z by Maira Kalman: www.mairakalman.com This book is genius! It's funny, clever, and ridiculously believable all at the same time (at least for those of us who have pets we love in spite of their voracious appetites.) A must read. The illustrations are definitley a little strange; however, they seem to fit the story perfectly. Pete (apparently a real dog) eats everything and anything. Starting with "A" Pete eats cousin Rocky's accordian and after eating his way through the alphabet, the author finishes with what he won't eat "zug zug dog grub!" My daughter likes to point out the various types of shoes Pete enjoys when we get to letter S. She has also learned to "read" the various necessary egg items needed for the Egghead Club; eggslicer, eggbeater, and the common cuckoo egg. Pete ate those too.

Nighty Night Sleepy Sleeps by Brian Andersen www.dogeatdoug.com Every parent will be able to relate to this story of a little boy and his dog who try to dodge bedtime. Its' simple rhyme and colorful illustration are a sure hit with the toddler set, as the duo hide in the closet, laundry and then rethink their plan to hide in the basement. Its very reminiscent of what we call in our house the pre-bed crazies that last until he literally crashes. My son loves this story and asks for it often. I love reading it also, as I enjoy adding my own voice changes and intonation depending on the hiding spots.

All books are available through www.amazon.com or www.barnesandnoble.com
but I suggest checking out your local library to give them a test run first to see if your kids love these books as much as mine do.

Genevieve M. Lowry M.Ed, CCLS
Certified Child Life Specialist/Reiki Master
Practical Parenting Solutions
For families facing extraordinary circumstances
www.practicalparentingsolutions.com
genevievelowry@practicalparentingsolutions.com

Reiki and the Family

As parents we reach out and hug, stroke, and caress our children. We do this when children fall and skin their knee, have first day of school jitters, or wake up from a nightmare. Instinctively we draw our children into or arms and hearts to let them know no matter what, we will be there with them.

As parents we often feel exhausted by the needs of our children, spouse, and work. What if there was a way to energize the body, mind, and spirit while also enhancing our ability to parent. Reiki a gentle hands on healing therapy, promotes relaxation, eases pain and reduces anxiety and stress. Reiki can be offered to anyone, infants to elderly, children with special needs and autism as well as those managing a chronic illness. No one is too sick, too old or too young to receive Reiki. It is ideal for parents looking for a natural way to soothe their children as well as manage their own stress leading to a peaceful, calmer, more balanced family life.

Reiki is easily integrated into daily routines: Bedtimes, homework, or just sitting on the couch, Reiki can be easily integrated into a busy schedule. When hugging a child/teen, parents are offering Reiki, with an encouraging pat on the shoulder, parents are offering Reiki, giving a child/teen that extra boost of loving energy.

Reiki helps children sleep well: A few minutes of Reiki at bedtime calms the mind and eases anxiety so a child can experience a more restful sleep. For the child who experiences nightmares, a few minutes of Reiki before bed often replaces the bad dreams with sweeter more peaceful ones.

Reiki connects parents to their child/teen: Whether snuggling on the couch watching television, an injury from a soccer game or the "hug" in passing, Reiki provides parents the opportunity to support their child/teen through gentle touch. Connecting with their child/teen by offering him Reiki as a therapy provides the "excuse" children sometimes need to still be "cool" receiving support from their parents.

Reiki increase parents' intuition: Using Reiki consistently increases' parents' energy therefore; the body is more sensitive to changes in children/teens' energy. So even though a teen may say everything is okay parents may sense otherwise.

Reiki transcends words: Sometimes children and teens are unable to express into words what they are thinking or feeling, Reiki provides parents with a subtle tool to support children and teens until they are ready to talk.

Reiki calms, soothes, and eases anxiety: The dentist office, an algebra test, or a skinned knee, Reiki calms, soothes, and eases anxiety simply by holding a child's hand, placing hands near an injury, or a supportive hand on the back while reviewing homework material together. Reiki offered to oneself can also alleviate parents' stress when coping with the daily struggles of raising a family.

Reiki helps the child with special needs, chronic illness, and autism: Research has shown that Reiki helps children stay on task, focus and manage pain, nausea, and anxiety more effectively. Reiki has no contra-indicators and can be combined easily with other complimentary and conventional therapies.

A Practical Guide to Helping your Family Face Life's Challenges

Genevieve Lowry M. Ed, CCLS

Certified Child Life Specialist/Reiki Master

www.practicalparentingsolutions.com

Every family faces challenges. Whether it be due to illness, loss, divorce, or economic changes, your family can be your greatest concern as well as your best asset. Building your children's self-esteem by trusting that with open honest and age appropriate explanations, as a family you all will grow and learn to overcome obstacles together.

Be honest: Telling your children the truth helps them trust that you and other adults in their life will be honest no matter how difficult the topic.

Be consistent: By creating routines children adjust better when something unexpected occurs thus decreasing their anxiety.

Talk with your children: Choose non-threatening times to talk about difficult or emotional topics. Choose times that offer children an outlet if the conversation gets to be too much. Going for walks, reading a story, or during a quiet activity are all times that allow children the opportunity to step back from the conversation to think about what been said and begin to process the information.

Follow your children’s lead: Offer information incrementally and welcome their questions. Use the questions as a guide for how much and when you should offer information.

Have confidence in yourself: You know your children and their strengths best. Trust your instincts when providing new and/or difficult information. Although you may not be able to protect them all the time you can help them learn the skills they need to face new challenges.

Have confidence in your children’s ability to understand and cope: Children are incredibly resilient. Have confidence in the lessons they have learned already and the ability to apply them to a new situation.

Allow your children to digest information at their own pace: When talking with your children, don’t be surprised if they don’t respond or react right away. Children need the opportunity to digest difficult information. Allow them that time then come back to it and ask if they have any questions.

Vary your communication style: Some children have a harder time with the face to face. After an initial conversation, try letter writing or emailing your children for responses or reactions, or just a quick how are you? Some children especially teenagers may be more open via this mode of communication.

Encourage a relationship with a trusted adult: Sometimes children need to talk privately with an adult but are afraid to upset their parents. Help your children identify who is a trusted adult and encourage them to share with that person. It can be an aunt, grandmother or a parent’s good friend. Someone your children have access to and are willing to be a confidant.

Family meetings: Family meetings are a great way to offer every family member the opportunity to talk about feelings, upcoming events, changes, and to discuss family plans. Children and teens are afforded the opportunity to voice concerns and discuss possible solutions.

Create family plans: Family plans help children live with the unexpected. There is less fear and anxiety if everyone participates understands, and agrees to the plan.

Validate your children’s feelings: Let your children know that you hear what they are saying. You understand their frustration, anger, or sadness. Offer them the opportunity to express feelings. Point out other times they may have felt this way and ask how they learned to manage those feelings. They may discover they have tools of their own they have been using throughout their lives.

Build on your family’s strengths: What does each member bring to the table? Use the gifts that each one of you inherently has to offer to move through a crisis. This will empower your children to conquer challenges throughout their lives.

Validate your own feelings: Allow yourself the opportunity to be angry, frustrated and sad. Do not be afraid to show your children your feelings as well. By modeling for your children appropriate reactions, this in turn will help them to find a way to manage their own feelings.

Create a new “Normal”: What is normal anyway? Your family will be changed by this experience. It does not have to be for the worse, it is up to you try to make this experience be about growth, learning, and coming together as a family.

Keep talking: Illness is a process as it continues to change and your family with it, make sure that everyone is still communicating. Children may need information reiterated as they grow and develop or as new information and treatments arise. Use these opportunities to talk and reflect, supporting your children’s growth and resilience.

Family Stress Busters

Family Stress Busters

Genevieve M. Lowry M.Ed, CCLS

Certified child life specialist/Reiki Master

www.practicalparentingsolutions.com

We all experience stress. Whether it’s from balancing jobs, family, and home life no matter how hard we try it looms there working its way into family life. Children today are experiencing more stress related to school, peer pressure, and media events than ever before. Parents may be feeling the squeeze from loss of jobs, increase costs of livings and worrying about their financial future. Studies have shown that “having a repertoire of coping skills at a young age can be a buffer or moderator of the effects of negative life stress on development” (Pincus & Friedman, 2004). With a few simple accessible tools that can be integrated easily into an already hectic day or a fun art project that opens the door to learning a new skill, encouraging creativity, or building self-esteem, parents are empowered by teaching their children life skills for facing any challenge. Meditation offers families a way of calming the mind focusing away from the external into the internal. It is where creativity lies and where the connection to the universe happens (Barlow, 2008).

Family Stress Busters were designed to help parents and children discover fun creative ways to decrease stress at any time of day or situation. Some of the activities are “in the moment” techniques to get everyone refocused and refueled by letting off some steam through laughing or singing to encourage deep breathing. Others are activities designed to do together as a project or game in order to empower kids and parents to learn how to calm their minds or racing hearts at times of stress, anxiety or a case of nerves. Have fun trying out some of the Family Stress Busters and maybe create a few of your own.

Sing Directions: Things getting tense around dinner time, kids won’t settle down to finish their homework or pick up their toys? Feeling like any minute you may explode as each set back piles up? Try singing what it is you want everyone to do. Pitch, tune, or talent don’t matter for this concert, studies have shown that we use a different part of our brain to listen to music. Therefore, singing not only regulates your breathing so you maintain your cool, but you may find that your children actually begin to do what you asked.

Game: Have everyone join in the fun. Sing through dinner one night or play a game to you own special tune. You find yourselves laughing out loud (another stress buster) as well discovering the next American Idol.

Deep breathing: Taking deep breaths has been known for years to help increase blood flow and therefore decrease stress. When the energy in the room starts to begin to feel pressured get everyone to take a few deep breaths. Count in through your nose to three but breathe out though your mouth by counting to five. This pushes out the excess air no one realized they were even holding in causing tension in the muscles.

Activity: With young children blowing bubbles is a great way to teach relaxing breathing techniques. Focusing the air on the hole in the wand helps young children to stay focused and concentrate on their breathing. Older children can try to blow bigger bubbles forcing out more air than they take in releasing the tension with each try. Party blowers are a great alternative as well. Ask your kids to blow them fast then slow, doing this regulates breathing while causing them to concentrate on their breath.

Mantra or theme songs: Take a tip from Ali McBeal, pick a family a theme song or mantra. “All you need is Love” or “We Go Together” when times get overwhelming and everyone needs to be reminded of who they can rely on bust into song or recite the family mantra. Sometimes parents and children forget they are not alone and that each one of you has each other to turn to for help, advice, or a singing partner.

Activity: Write a family cheer. Ask each member of the family to say a strength of another member of the family, by identifying what each other brings to the family, reminds each other that no matter what is going on you are a team. Put it on a poster board and hang it up where everyone can see it.

Variation: Instead of a cheer create a family crest using the same concept at above.

Go Outside: Need an attitude change? Want to tell your kid to go run around the block a few times to burn off excess energy? Go outside even for a few minutes the cool air, open space, and natural setting will automatically transform any negative feelings ridding the body of tension. Everyone knows the benefits of physical exercise, increasing heart rates even for a few minutes expels energy, increases blood flow, relaxes muscles, and helps the body to oxygenate blood more efficiently, therefore, helping children to focus on completing a task.

Activity: Take some deep breaths, kick a ball around with your kids, or run a race in the backyard. Just those few minutes of sunshine and physical energy will clear the mind and body opening it up for learning, engaging and understanding. .

Activity: Can’t get outside have a Dance Party. Pick your tune and get your feet moving to the groove.

Laugh out loud: Nothing funny about that feeling you get when kids are fighting, dinners burning, and no one is paying attention to your repeated requests to set the table. However, laughter is the number one stress reliever so let it rip. Studies have shown that even fake laughing causes endorphins the “feel good hormone” to release. Laughter often brings a sense of levity to any situation; once you see the funny it’s hard to be upset.

Activity: Just start laughing; get the kids involved see who can laugh the loudest, the silliest, or the longest. It may start out being forced but in the end everyone will be rolling on the floor whooping it up.

Imagination Station: Use your imagination to get away. The mind does not differentiate between real or imagined. Therefore thinking about relaxing on the beach or encouraging your children to think about their safe place helps the body to believe it’s relaxed, calm, and peaceful.

Activity: In order to help your children use their imaginations, have them create their own Imagination Scrapbook. Pick a place real or imagined and have them describe their favorite or safe place using all five senses.

Game: For younger children a variation on the game Simon says helps them to understand progressive muscle relaxation by imagining themselves “tall as a tree” or as “wiggly as noodle.”

Do a good deed together: There is nothing compared to doing something nice for someone else to lift ones spirits. It teaches empathy, kindness, and empowers children to know that even small gestures can make a difference in someone’s life.

Activity: Collect food for the hungry (money tight? Do a little each week until the bag is full), Donate used toys, games or clothes to homeless shelters or instead of birthday gifts encourage your child to ask friends to bring a can of dog or cat food for an animal shelter.

Activity: Want something closer to home? Create a “Nice Gesture Jar.” As a family, come up with suggestions that someone can do for someone else. For example, set the table without being asked, draw a picture and leave it for someone on their pillow, or read a story to your younger brother/sister.

Barlow, A. R. (2008, March). A Glimpse at the Holistic Approach to Wellness. School Nurse News , pp. 19-21.

Pincus, D. F. (2004). Improving children's coping with everyday stress: Transporting treatment interventions to the school setting. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review , 223-249.

Beatles, All We Need Is Love

Grease Soundtrack, We Go Together

Entire contents copyright 2009 by Genevieve Lowry M.Ed, CCLS. All rights reserved.

Reiki, a gentle hands on healing therapy, enhances the body's ability to heal itself. Reiki decreases stress and anxiety, helps one sleep better, and improves relaxation while promoting an overall sense of well-being. Once attuned as a Reiki I practitioner, Reiki is easily integrated into a busy personal or professional life.

Using Reiki for Self-Care

1. Any Reiki you offer yourself is better than no Reiki.

The amount time given to self-Reiki is not important as long as you offer yourself some Reiki. Some prefer to do a whole body treatment in the morning or evening before bed, this can take from 20 minutes to two hours. Others incorporate it sporadically throughout their day.

2. Reiki can be done for oneself anytime and anywhere.

It is easy to incorporate Reiki into an already busy schedule. By placing even one hand on a chakra, (the heart chakra is usually the most accessible) it is easy to begin self-care. Waiting for the light to change, sitting at the computer, or while talking on the phone are all opportunities to offer yourself Reiki.

3. You do not have to be concentrating or focusing on Reiki for it to work.

Because the body knows exactly what it needs, the life force energy flows without a deep meditation or specific intent. Reiki can be received while thinking about or performing other tasks, making it ideal in a busy life.

4. Reiki helps you cope better with the stress of a hectic schedule.

By offering yourself Reiki you increase your own potential to handle stress more effectively. The life force energy helps maintain a balance and clarity to cope better with stressful situations.

5. Reiki energizes and balances you throughout the day. It is important to offer yourselves Reiki whenever and wherever you can.

It is not unusual to feel “burnout” at the end of a long day. Offering yourself Reiki allows your body to receive life force energy and heal your own body mentally, physically, spiritually, and psychologically.

6. Reiki helps one center and focus on tasks.

Reiki can increase your confidence and focus. In a hectic and increasingly complicated world, Reiki offers an opportunity to clear the mind and see clearly each task. Once infused with life force energy one often experiences greater confidence and clarity.