Family Stress Busters
Genevieve M. Lowry M.Ed, CCLS
Certified child life specialist/Reiki Master
We all experience stress. Whether
it’s from balancing jobs, family, and home life no matter how hard we
try it looms there working its way into family life. Children today are experiencing more stress related to school, peer pressure, and media events than ever before. Parents may be feeling the squeeze from loss of jobs, increase costs of livings and worrying about their financial future. Studies
have shown that “having a repertoire of coping skills at a young age
can be a buffer or moderator of the effects of negative life stress on
development” (Pincus & Friedman, 2004). With a few simple accessible
tools that can be integrated easily into an already hectic day or a fun
art project that opens the door to learning a new skill, encouraging
creativity, or building self-esteem, parents are empowered by teaching
their children life skills for facing any challenge. Meditation offers
families a way of calming the mind focusing away from the external into
the internal. It is where creativity lies and where the connection happens (Barlow, 2008).
Family
Stress Busters were designed to help parents and children discover fun
creative ways to decrease stress at any time of day or situation. Some
of the activities are “in the moment” techniques to get everyone
refocused and refueled by letting off some steam through laughing or
singing to encourage deep breathing. Others are
activities designed to do together as a project or game in order to
empower kids and parents to learn how to calm their minds or racing
hearts at times of stress, anxiety or a case of nerves. Have fun trying out some of the Family Stress Busters and maybe create a few of your own.
Sing Directions: Things
getting tense around dinner time, kids won’t settle down to finish
their homework or pick up their toys? Feeling like any minute you may
explode as each set back piles up? Try singing
what it is you want everyone to do. Pitch, tune, or talent don’t matter
for this concert, studies have shown that we use a different part of our
brain to listen to music. Therefore, singing not
only regulates your breathing so you maintain your cool, but you may
find that your children actually begin to do what you asked.
Game: Have everyone join in the fun. Sing through dinner one night or play a game to you own special tune. You find yourselves laughing out loud (another stress buster) as well discovering the next American Idol.
Deep breathing: Taking deep breaths has been known for years to help increase blood flow and therefore decrease stress. When the energy in the room starts to begin to feel pressured get everyone to take a few deep breaths. Count in through your nose to three but breathe out though your mouth by counting to five. This pushes out the excess air no one realized they were even holding in causing tension in the muscles.
Activity: With young children blowing bubbles is a great way to teach relaxing breathing techniques. Focusing
the air on the hole in the wand helps young children to stay focused
and concentrate on their breathing. Older children can try to blow
bigger bubbles forcing out more air than they take in releasing the
tension with each try. Party blowers are a great alternative as well. Ask your kids to blow them fast then slow, doing this regulates breathing while causing them to concentrate on their breath.
Mantra or theme songs: Take
a tip from Ali McBeal, pick a family a theme song or mantra. “All you
need is Love” or “We Go Together” when times get overwhelming and
everyone needs to be reminded of who they can rely on bust into song or
recite the family mantra. Sometimes parents and
children forget they are not alone and that each one of you has each
other to turn to for help, advice, or a singing partner.
Activity:
Write a family cheer. Ask each member of the family to say a strength
of another member of the family, by identifying what each other brings
to the family, reminds each other that no matter what is going on you are a team. Put it on a poster board and hang it up where everyone can see it.
Variation: Instead of a cheer create a family crest using the same concept at above.
Go Outside: Need an attitude change? Want to tell your kid to go run around the block a few times to burn off excess energy? Go
outside even for a few minutes the cool air, open space, and natural
setting will automatically transform any negative feelings ridding the
body of tension. Everyone
knows the benefits of physical exercise, increasing heart rates even for
a few minutes expels energy, increases blood flow, relaxes muscles, and
helps the body to oxygenate blood more efficiently, therefore, helping children to focus on completing a task.
Activity: Take some deep breaths, kick a ball around with your kids, or run a race in the backyard. Just
those few minutes of sunshine and physical energy will clear the mind
and body opening it up for learning, engaging and understanding. .
Activity: Can’t get outside have a Dance Party. Pick your tune and get your feet moving to the groove.
Laugh out loud:
Nothing funny about that feeling you get when kids are fighting,
dinners burning, and no one is paying attention to your repeated
requests to set the table. However, laughter is the number one stress reliever so let it rip. Studies have shown that even fake laughing causes endorphins the “feel good hormone” to release. Laughter often brings a sense of levity to any situation; once you see the funny it’s hard to be upset.
Activity: Just start laughing; get the kids involved see who can laugh the loudest, the silliest, or the longest. It may start out being forced but in the end everyone will be rolling on the floor whooping it up.
Imagination Station: Use your imagination to get away. The mind does not differentiate between real or imagined. Therefore
thinking about relaxing on the beach or encouraging your children to
think about their safe place helps the body to believe it’s relaxed,
calm, and peaceful.
Activity: In order to help your children use their imaginations, have them create their own Imagination Scrapbook. Pick a place real or imagined and have them describe their favorite or safe place using all five senses.
Game: For
younger children a variation on the game Simon says helps them to
understand progressive muscle relaxation by imagining themselves “tall
as a tree” or as “wiggly as noodle.”
Do a good deed together: There is nothing compared to doing something nice for someone else to lift ones spirits. It teaches empathy, kindness, and empowers children to know that even small gestures can make a difference in someone’s life.
Activity: Collect
food for the hungry (money tight? Do a little each week until the bag
is full), Donate used toys, games or clothes to homeless shelters or
instead of birthday gifts encourage your child to ask friends to bring a
can of dog or cat food for an animal shelter.
Activity: Want something closer to home? Create a “Nice Gesture Jar.” As
a family, come up with suggestions that someone can do for someone
else. For example, set the table without being asked, draw a picture and
leave it for someone on their pillow, or read a story to your younger
brother/sister.
Barlow, A. R. (2008, March). A Glimpse at the Holistic Approach to Wellness. School Nurse News , pp. 19-21.
Pincus,
D. F. (2004). Improving children's coping with everyday stress:
Transporting treatment interventions to the school setting. Clinical
Child and Family Psychology Review , 223-249.
Beatles, All We Need Is Love
Grease Soundtrack, We Go Together
