Communication is the Key

Genevieve Lowry M.Ed, CCLS
Certified Child Life Specialist/Reiki Master
Practical Parenting Solutions
for families facing extraordinary circumstances
www.practicalparentingsolutions.com

My two year son throws things when he doesn't get his way, my six year old daughter bursts into tears, and my sister's teenager pierces her nose; what are they trying to tell us?
The mystery of communicating with kids is an art form or a study in foreign language. We let our children know how we feel through our facial expressions, body language and tone. Our children, well sometimes it just doesn't seem so obvious. I can remember the doctor telling me you will know your babies cries... What the?
It's true though, even little babies let us know their thoughts and feelings with their cries, whines, and eventually words althought that doesn't mean we understand any of it. We usually just get lucky after changing a dry diaper, offering water, milk or juice that he finally settles on the fourth box of cookies you offered. However, as parents we can help our children feel more secure understanding and identifying emotions, communicating their thoughts and feelings as well as understanding the way others communicate.

Teach your children there are a variety of ways to communicate: Crying, laughing, hugging or giving the thumbs up or down sign are all ways to "talk" without using words. As well as some people speak in another language or use sign language to communicate thoughts and feelings.
Game: Try to "talk" without using words. Spend a meal time or play a game together where everyone uses gestures to explain something that happened that day.

Telling how you feel: Chidren need to understand that by communicating they learn, share thier feelings, and can make friends. By sharing how they feel children learn to also identify the names of emotions which helps them learn to manage them better.
Activity: Do a body tracing, have each child pick a feeling out of a hat and draw where or how they feel that emotion on the body drawing.

Sharing with a trusted adult: Talk with your children about sharing their feelings. Help them identify who are trusted adults they can talk to about their feelings.

Listening is part of communicating: Talk with your children about listening to others. That talking with a friend, sibling or family member is a lot like sharing toys; everybody gets a turn.
Book: Read the book, Listen to the Rain by Bill Martin Jr. and John Archambault as a way to reinforce how important it is to listen.

Its okay to disagree: Explain to your children that arguing is another way to resolve conflict. People can think differently, disagree and yet still care for each other. Explain to your children also how mom and dad worked it out or model apologizing to each other.

However, fighting among parents can be upsetting to some children. Below are a few helpful hints to help avoid children blaming themselves or feeling insecure

Never involve children in arguments: Do not argue about or involve your children in your arguments. If they try to "take sides" or get involved, that is your sign to stop.

Don't argue about adult issues in front of the children: When the argument is about money, sex, or in-laws wait until your kids are asleep or go behind closed doors to discuss these topics.

Take a time out: If a conversation becomes too "heated" decide to take a "time out" and discuss it later. This will model for your children that sometimes its okay to step away, regroup and come back together later when everyone has calmed down.

Genevieve M. Lowry M. Ed, CCLS
Certified Child Life Specialist/Reiki Master
Practical Parenting Solutions
For families facing extraordinary circumstances
www.practicalparentingsolutions.com
genevievelowry@practicalparentingsolutions.com

Dr. Oz Talks About Reiki

Next Reiki I class is February 6, 2010
Register early to guarantee your space www.practicalparentingsolutions.com

Exciting News: Dr. Mehmet Oz, who Oprah made "famous", highlights Reiki in the conclusion of his alternative medicine show on The Dr. Oz Show this Wednesday, January 6th.

When focusing on Reiki on his show, Dr. Oz says: "The next alternative remedy I'm going to talk about is one of my favorites. We've been using it in the Oz family for years...."

Even though Reiki's appearance is brief, it significantly adds to its credibility since Dr. Oz would not include anything risky or without merit.

For more information read my posts on Reiki and the Family or Reiki and Self-care. Information regarding upcoming classes go to my website
www.practicalparentingsolutions.com or email me at genevievelowry@practicalparentingsolutions.com